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Ebook Free Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Ebook Free Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
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Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Ebook Free Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
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Review
"At last, a therapist who understands the power of love. Bravo, Robert Weiss! Rather than judging the caregivers of addicts as codependents with pathologies of their own, Weiss recognizes them as normal, mentally healthy men and women with a deep and unconditional love for their addicted partner or family member. He celebrates emotional dependence, and he offers nonjudgmental support and guidance for navigating the difficult landscape of relationship with an addict. By coming from a positive perspective, his concepts offer hope instead of despair for those living in crisis. And as a bonus, it's a fascinating read about the evolution of the recovery movement, and the importance of human kindness and connection in healing." —Helen Fisher, PhD, bestselling author of Why We Love, Anatomy of Love, and Why Him? Why Her?"First there was codependence, then there was the trauma model. Now we have prodependence—the evolution of empowerment for partners, families, and others affected by the addiction or illness of someone they love. Bravo, Rob Weiss, for crossing the next frontier in addiction attachment-systems theory and extending us an invitation and detailed map of how to join him there. With fresh ideas and crisp writing, Weiss distills decades of experience into a compassionate call to action. There is a new and better way to support those whose lives are affected by an addict, and it's called prodependence." —Staci Sprout, LICSW, CSAT, author of Naked in Public: A Memoir of Recovery fromSex Addiction and Other Temporary Insanities"Removing codependence and addiction from the list of diseases that afflict humankind and seeing their cause as responses to overwhelming life conditions rehumanizes those who suffer—both addicts and those who love them. This approach rightly acknowledges them as co-participants in the human journey rather than objects of analysis and treatment. In Prodependence, Robert Weiss has not only created a new term but has also boldly challenged the cultural practice of negatively labeling those in service to others. He shows that by doing so, we devalue their selfless efforts and amplify their suffering. This groundbreaking book is a call to awaken from the old way of thinking to find new and positive methods. We recommend it to all mental-health providers and to those whose mental health will improve by reading it.'"—Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, coauthors of Getting the Love You Want and The Space Between"Prodependence provides a refreshing, empathetic, and practical approach to understanding partners and families of addicts, and how best to help them learn how to handle their difficult situation. Avoiding the classic split between the trauma and codependency models, Weiss uses the framework of attachment theory to avoid blaming partners and pathologizing their behavior. Instead, he validates and reframes their efforts and provides techniques for helping them heal, improve their self-care, set appropriate boundaries for their own behavior, and deal with their challenges. This beautifully written book is must-reading for all those who love an addict, as well as all mental health professionals." —Jennifer Schneider, MD, author of Back from Betrayal: Recovering from the Trauma of Infidelity
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About the Author
Robert Weiss PhD, MSW, CEO of Seeking Integrity LLC, is a digital-age sex, intimacy, and relationship specialist. Dr. Weiss has spent more than 25 years developing treatment programs, educating clinicians, writing, and providing direct care to those challenged by digital-age infidelity, sexual addiction/compulsivity, and other addictive disorders. He is the author of several highly regarded books on sex and intimacy disorders including Prodependence, Out of the Doghouse, Sex Addiction 101, and Cruise Control, among others. He also podcasts (Sex, Love, & Addiction 101) and hosts a free, weekly interactive sex and intimacy webinar via SexandRelationshipHealing.com. For more information or to reach Dr. Weiss, please visit his websites, RobertWeissMSW.com and SexandRelationshipHealing.com, or follow him on Twitter (@RobWeissMSW), LinkedIn (Robert Weiss LCSW), and Facebook (Rob Weiss MSW).
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Product details
Paperback: 216 pages
Publisher: Health Communications Inc; 1 edition (September 18, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 075732035X
ISBN-13: 978-0757320354
Product Dimensions:
8.5 x 0.5 x 5.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.9 out of 5 stars
26 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#28,808 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book is a big hug to my aching heart. While I read it, I kept crying and saying: "Yes, yes, exactly!" My husband and I were trying to deal with his sex/love addiction for the last 13 years, through four different couples therapists. It's hard not to be taking on responsibilities for the addict while you taking care of two small kids and simply making sure that the bills are paid and the food is on the table. Every time that our family was hit with yet another crisis, which would send me into PTSD, I would be told that somehow it's my fault as well, my reaction over the top and I would ultimately reject the therapist. We are now separated and divorcing. Now, I'm being told that taking on those responsibilities is a healthy part of being independent and making sure that the kids are OK because my ex-husband cannot be trusted. I'm so glad that there are therapists who understand what the spouses of addicts truly need. This book gives me hope that I can find an honest and trusting relationship. Thank you!
I am a recovering alcoholic/addict and have been sober for many years. I am in a long-term relationship with a “mostly†recovering alcoholic/addict. We have been through several heart-breaking relapses. I am a member of both AA and Al-Anon. I am also a psychologist and have worked in substance use treatment centers for the past 10 years. I have never felt “codependent†and have bristled when someone would label me as such. This book put words to how I have been feeling. It made me feel like it is ok to love someone with a disease. I am not damaged, sick, or pathological because I choose to be in this relationship. On the other hand, I’m not “off the hookâ€. I still need to work on myself in order to feel sane and experience serenity in my life and in my relationship. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone!
As someone that has worked in the addiction recovery field for over 10 years, Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency is a breath of fresh air. Rob has succinctly captured an approach I've used for years with clients, without having a name for it. For many that have worked in the addiction recovery field, they worked with models available to them at the time, and for some they expanded on these models and many families were helped. By my own experience taught me, very early in my career that many, many people were being hurt by being labeled as codependent, and early on, I considered "codependency" a pejorative term and shaming label. I'm grateful that Rob, now, Dr. Weiss, has brought forth Prodependence to our emerging field. I would hope that some of the "old timers" in our field would be open to adopting this affirming and validating perspective in their work and in their training of others.
I’ve always been troubled by the term “co-dependent†as it casts blame on the person struggling to help a loved one negotiate the perils of mental illness and/or addiction. In “Prodependence,†author Robert Weiss argues that connection is a positive, not a negative and that family members are allowed and encouraged to love and be close to the person struggling with addiction. This is a meaningful, easy to read book by a respected addiction professional that removes the blame/shame/codependent label placed on loving spouses and partners for the impossible challenges they face simply because they live with an active addict or alcoholic. Loving spouses are not the addict. They are just trying to make things better. I agree with Weiss’s argument that we should celebrate rather than denigrate, such loving caregivers.
I do think they are right about there being too much shame and blame in the codependence work for the person who is already in crisis. we all need more empathy and validation for our feelings to be in a place where we can move forward to work on ourselves without feeling like the ones who are supposed to help us are attacking and blaming us for how we have reacted in crisis, when we did the best we could with the tools we had at the time. I hope the psychology world moves more towards this view rather than sticking with blame and shame when a person is so vulnerable.
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